Episode 1: The Turning Point at Km 10

I would like to go back to 2022 when 10 kms into the 90 kms race I tripped over a cat's eye and somebody stood on my foot in the tightly human sweat packed darkness of early morning pre-dawn running. I fell to the ground. I was almost trampled to death by the other runners.

I felt an immediate pain sizzle through my foot (like hitting your elbow or funny bone and feeling that electric shock). I knew something was wrong. I hobbled out of the mass of runners and got to the road side where I removed my shoe to see on top of my foot near the small baby toe a massive swollen purple contusion mass. It was already, immediately seconds after the fall, the size of a grape!

I knew I was in trouble as injuries that come on this suddenly, visually, are serious. I thought I may have broken my foot. The mental angst inside me was overwhelming. Not being a fast runner and with the 12-hour cut off clock looming, I had to make a fast decision because I did not even have enough time to actually make an informed decision if I wanted to finish my 18th Comrades Ultra marathon.

In 2022 comrades resumed after 2 years race cancellation in the covid pandemic, so I had been training for my 18th comrades for 3 years. I was now 54 years old and running with age and injury had slowed me down. I had started 17 comrades ultra marathons and finished 17 Comrades. If I decided to do what most 'sane' people would have done and abandoned the race, I would have blemished my record. The life achievement goal of 20 starts and 20 finishes I was aiming for would be obliterated in one moment of decision.

Suffice as to say, this was the decision of my life. I chose to try to carry on running. I hobbled back into the sea of runners, limping at first, walking slowly in terrible pain. Every 10 kms I removed the shoe to see that the injury went bigger and bigger. The swelling went up in size from a grape, to a squash ball, to a tennis ball and finally, after over 11 hours of running the toughest hill climbs in the world, I ran into the stadium to finish my 18th Comrades.

It taught me resilience. It taught me how not to crack and fold under pressure. It taught me to be careful when your decisions will alter the course of your life. I learned first-hand the meaning of a historical identity lock. Pain was no longer my enemy. It was my master and my teacher. I went on to finish my 20th Comrades marathon 2 years later.

Metabolise your pain and convert your suffering into a signal.